Thursday, June 28, 2018

When I Was Scared to be a Journalist

There was only one time I was ever scared to be a journalist.

I was yards away from a big fire at a fireworks warehouse, and I was never scared. I was in a courtroom with a convicted child rapist, and I was never scared. I was in multiple tornado destruction paths with live wires and buildings in splinters, and I was never scared. I received a deluge of calls from Ron Paul supporters calling me vile, terrible names, and I was never scared.

There was only one time I was ever scared to be a journalist.

When we made errors — and we did — we worked to correct them. When others made errors, we called them out for it. When we saw injustice or corruption, we investigated. When poverty was the elephant in the room, we spent a year covering it in-depth. My stated goal, repeated ad nauseam to those who would listen to me pontificate, was to be a mirror to the community, both the good and the bad.

There was only one time I was ever scared to be a journalist.

It must have been 2012 or 2013 when a man came to the office asking for the editor (me). He demanded to know why we printed his name in the arrest records. He argued with me over where I got my information, and I calmly told him his quarrel was with the Crawford County Sheriff's Department, who supplied us with the list. He was about my height, maybe a couple inches shorter, with a lean grandpa-type build. His eyes were wide open and rarely blinking. He shook with agitation — or perhaps a drug addict's inability to keep still. In the midst of that heated, pitched conversation, I realized I was scared, because this man was dangerous. I was not worried about a gun, but I was worried about a physical attack or a possible knife. Our secretaries were behind the desk nearby, and I made sure to make eye contact with them so they were watching, too, in case something happened. I took a step back from the man and widened my stance so that in case he swung at me, I could not only dodge it, but could swing a right hook in response. I hoped that if I had to, I would hit hard and strong, but I was fearful, since I am no fighter. I was scared to be a journalist because there was a real threat in front of me.

James D. Russian left the office angry. I went back to my office and watched to make sure he got in his truck. Not long after that, he would sue our paper, the Crawford County Sheriff's Department and the judge for — of all things — copyright infringement for using his name in the arrest reports. Although it was a one-sided court case in our favor, it cost our paper nearly a full reporter's salary in legal fees. He was later convicted on federal firearms and drug charges and is now in prison for many years.

That was the only time I was ever scared to be a journalist. Until today.

Five employees of the Capital Gazette in Annapolis, Md., were killed by a gunman today. Most of those were newsroom employees. I can see myself in their faces. I can see my name in their names. I cried a little bit when I knew no one was looking. I mourn for these journalists, and for journalism in general. This assault came in the atmosphere of a President who has said that the greatest enemy of the American people is the press. This comes in the atmosphere of a far-right firebrand who said two days ago that he "can't wait for the vigilante squads to start gunning journalists down on sight." It reminded me of a recent episode of "The Handmaid's Tale" in which the protagonist, on the run from a fascist patriarchal government, takes temporary shelter inside an abandoned Boston Globe only to discover that journalists had been massacred there.

Journalism is not an easy job. There's a joke that journalism is terrible hours and terrible pay, but on the bright side, no one likes you. There is a truth to that joke, but also a stubborn pride in it. Journalism is not a job for fragile people. It's not a job for the easily intimidated. The Capital Gazette will be "putting out a damn paper tomorrow." When the Joplin tornado hit, there were many Joplin Globe employees without a house who still went to work. It's what journalists do. It's their job.

Maybe tomorrow I'll be OK. Maybe I'll look back on this moment in the same way I was later able to talk with the judge and the Sheriff's Department and laugh about James D. Russian's wild antics. Maybe one day I won't feel anxiety over where journalism is going and how it's perceived in the world. Maybe one day I'll even go back to journalism, my first love. Maybe. But today? There is another real threat in front of me, and I was scared for the second time.

Friday, June 15, 2018

Cruelty, Impeachment and State Mottos

Perhaps no single word can show the divide in the last two administrations like the word "audacity." It was part of Barack Obama's book title, "The Audacity of Hope." The opposite sentiment can be found in the Trump administration's audacity of cruelty.

The cruelty has been eating away at me more and more this year. That's likely why my posts have dropped in frequency and why I feel myself drifting from politics while knowing I must stay engaged. The cruelty has been rampant and destructive to people. This cruelty shown by both Trump and his administration has been directed at people he does not know, at people he knows, at people outside of his party, at people within his party, at potential allies, at longtime allies, at enemies. Seemingly the only person to escape the Trump ire has been, of all people, Vladimir Putin.

But one thing that has been drilled into my head is to show my work.

So let me explain through examples. Let's start with immigrants. For illegal immigrants, the Trump administration is separating families at the border. I shouldn't have to explain how difficult that must be for people who are (mostly) seeking refuge. For legal immigrants, the Trump administration has made the process of seeking asylum nearly impossible. It has caused legal immigrants to flee away from the U.S. and toward others, like Canada. Our national attitude has been that if you're not from here, we do not care about you in the slightest. He has placed DACA recipients on pins and needles while blaming Democrats for a decision that he made.

Our president has been one of the most line-in-the-sand politicians I've ever seen. Either you're with him or you're against him. If you're against him, whether in his party (McCain, notably, but Flake/Corker/etc.) or not (Elizabeth Warren, Pelosi, Schumer, etc.), he has nothing but contempt — not just privately, but incredibly publicly.

In one breath, he can talk about the dangers of crime and thugs and drug dealers, often ignoring facts of cases (see the Central Park Five) to stoke the wildest fears of the easily frightened. He has simultaneously wiped the slate clean for people like Dinesh D'Souza, who pled guilty to election fraud, and Scooter Libby. Both of these men are the exact types of people who he would lead chants against if they had been Democrats.

He has placed punitive tariffs not just against our economic enemies (China, to a potentially overblown extent) and our economic allies (Canada, the EU, Mexico). He has turned the G7 Summit of the seven greatest economies into a G6 + the U.S., while pushing for the inclusion of, of all countries, Russia to make it a G8 once more.

He has enabled terrible people like Scott Pruitt, Jeff Sessions and Mick Mulvaney. Many of his political appointees have made it their direct, explicit goal to undermine the agencies which they head. Specifically, Mulvaney and Pruitt have done the most damage while managing the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau and the Environmental Protection Agency. He has undermined his own Department of Justice and FBI for conducting an investigation into his campaign's ties with Russia. He cannot help himself from lashing out at anyone who dares suggest the investigation was legitimate. He has used Rudy Giuliani to muddy the waters before the Mueller investigation.

He has taken a flawed but working Affordable Care Act and made such a mess out of it that those who have come to rely on its provisions — the most vulnerable of us, by definition — have been in constant jeopardy since he took office, and the latest news will not make it any easier.

He has joined fights that were not his to fight, like the cancellation of Roseanne and the right of NFL players to kneel during the National Anthem. He has used invitations to the White House as a cudgel and played the victim when no one wanted to attend in the first place.

Cruelty is easy. It is easy to be cruel. It is easy to not care for people. It is hard to care about repercussions, to seek out common ground, to make compromises on difficult subject, to treat your enemies and allies with respect, to be a decent human at all times. I am no different. It is hard to be kind and generous and wise and reflective and forward-thinking and engaged.

There is an old line that you should do the right thing even when it's hard. I would argue that the right thing is almost always hard. Doing the right thing should challenge you, should push you past your comfort point, should be inconvenient, should not come naturally. But that's exactly why we should do it. As I've said over and over again, it is easier to dismantle and destroy and demolish than to build. I pray that our country — and the leaders in charge of it — would build a better America. I believe in a better America, worth working for and changing from within. It will not come without costs. It will not come easily. It is worth doing. I wish that our nation's highest leader would pursue such a path rather than the cruelty that has been on display nearly every day.

Note: This is not to dismiss everything the Trump Administration has done as useless or evil or malicious. I do not ignore success when success is earned. The economy is strong. I have many reservations about the North Korea summit, but I am willing to say that I feel the likelihood of nuclear war in Korea is lower today than before it. Trump deserves some credit for that. 

Impeachment Book

I have no doubt that the Mueller investigation will be scathing, revealing and worthy of political ramifications. There has already been enough guilty pleas, enough evidence, enough cause to believe Trump's campaign, and Trump himself, have been involved in undermining democracy. The Trump Tower meeting alone should be impeachable, let alone the cover-up press releases that followed.

On my vacation last month, I read a book called the Citizen's Guide to Impeachment. It reviewed lessons from the impeachment cases that have taken place in the country's history. Here's what I learned:

1) Impeachment is not a criminal charge. It's merely for removal of office. If you're charged with, say, bank fraud in impeachment proceedings, then you can (and almost assuredly will) be charged with bank fraud in a criminal court afterward. Impeachment is done in the House, who becomes the "prosecutors." The Senate becomes the "jury."

2) What we think of as "impeachable offenses" is not particularly well defined. There are three descriptions for what a person can be charged with: treason, bribery and "other high crimes and misdemeanors." You will probably never see someone charged with the first two, because there is a certain burden of proof there. There are specific legal steps that have to be met in order to prosecute those crimes. Almost every person who has been impeached has been under the "other high crimes and misdemeanors" header, even when it is... bribery (this actually happened once).

3) The causes of impeachment are legion, but Trump has already met several, in my opinion. There is profiteering, lying to the American public (see the Trump Tower press release he dictated), undermining the freedom of the press, not protecting the Constitution and the Bill of Rights (vague, but this would be pursuant to justice concerns), violating the emoluments clause, undermining the federal judiciary, encouraging law enforcement to violate the rights of others, deceit, undermining the office of the Presidency by siding with white supremacists.

4) Those are a ton of reasons that are unrelated to the most obvious reason: obstruction of justice. Every president that has been impeached (Johnson, Clinton, and nearly Nixon) were impeached on obstruction of justice charges. If you think Donald Trump has not obstructed the Mueller investigation, then please let me sell you anything at all. He has publicly denounced his own Department of Justice, fired an FBI director for not interfering in the investigation, lied about his reasoning after the fact, attacked investigators by name and undermined the credibility of a federal investigation. It is not a witch hunt, unless witch hunts have found multiple witches and more are on the way. Obstruction of justice is obvious and should be pushed by everyone, Republican or Democrat. Neither side seems to be pushing it right now, which is frustrating. Democrats appear to prefer an impeachable person in power (easier to campaign against?) than to take the risk of overplaying their hand. Republicans appear unwilling to oppose Trump, under the spell of his cult of personality. Here's the catch: there is some reporting that the FBI, and by extension Mueller, can not charge a sitting President with obstruction of justice directly. There has to be an impeachment action/removal first, and then he could be prosecuted for obstruction of justice criminal charges. This theory hasn't been tested in any court, but it would only go to delay the process.

5) Special investigations are usually a slow process. With an investigation as deep and complicated as this one, I would not be surprised if there is not a final report more than a year from now, let alone by the end of Trump's (first?) term. Patience is required from the Mueller team. I know this sounds like doublespeak, but patience is required for the Mueller investigation while time is of the essence for impeachment.

State Mottos, Ranked and Annotated in Reverse Order

50) Indiana, "The Crossroads of America"

This is not a state motto. It is a nickname masquerading as a motto. It is an Indiana tourism branding statement. It is the worst state motto.

49) Minnesota, "L'Étoile du Nord" (Star of the North)

Also a nickname and not a motto, but it gains points for alluding to its French fur trapping origin story.

48) Florida, "In God We Trust"

The only state truly too lazy to think of something original is the only state it could ever have been.

47) Texas, "Friendship," 6) Rhode Island, "Hope," 45) Utah, "Industry"   

These are all one-word concepts, which isn't a motto... it's a state aspirational goal. They sound like parts of the Scout Law. Mottos should either be an ethos or represent the state/people, and none of these do that. Have you met Texas drivers? Most unfriendly people in the world. Rhode Island's motto seems to be a verb, which is... slightly better. The best of this bad bunch is Utah's, which at least fits with the beehive/Mormon settlers history concept.

44) Montana, "Oro y plata (Gold and Silver)," 43) Tennessee, "Agriculture and Commerce" 42) New Jersey, "Liberty and prosperity," 41) Delaware, "Liberty and Independence," 40) Vermont, "Freedom and Unity"

Two-word concepts, but not really a motto. It's just two things. Montana's (despite the rare Spanish motto) gets docked for being two things in the state rather than two personality traits. It'd be like if West Virginia's motto was "coal mines and hills." Tennessee's two things are boring and sound like a small-town grocery store: Farm N'Barter! The other three are near interchangeable.

39) Pennsylvania, "Virtue, Liberty and Independence," 38) Louisiana, "Union, justice, confidence," 37) Georgia, "Wisdom, justice and moderation"

Three-word concepts are also not mottos. They are better than one-word or two-word concepts, though. Georgia's sounds the smartest, Pennsylvania's is the worst because liberty and independence are the same thing, and Louisiana's just doesn't sound like Louisiana.

36) Nebraska, "Equality before the law," 35) Wyoming, "Equal Rights" 

Nebraska's is fine. It's just a wordier version of Wyoming's. I can accept Wyoming's as a motto because it's an ethos, aspirational goal and nod to history all in one. Wyoming was the first to give women the right to vote, and they won't let the other 49 states forget it. Nebraska doesn't even have the history behind it.

34) Illinois, "State sovereignty, national union"

This is true for any and every state. It is boring and lame and merely says "We're a state and we're in the United States!" I'm tempted to push this one farther down. Nothing about this says Illinois.

33) Michigan, " Si quaeris peninsulam amoenam circumspice (If you seek a pleasant peninsula, look about you"

I love geography and mentioning your unique geography. Peninsulas are cool. But this motto is the sticker on a map of the mall saying "You are here." A better motto would be something like "Not afraid to stick out." See? It's a peninsula riff without being obvious about it.

32) Maryland, "Fatti maschii, parole feminine (Manly deeds, womanly words)"

Sexist? I don't want to peer too far into the abyss, but this is either talking about a dude with the voice of a woman or a woman who does manly things, like spitting sunflower seeds or running a beer mile.

31)  Colorado, "Nil sine numine (Nothing without the Deity)," 30) Connecticut, "Quit transtulit sustained (He who transplanted sustains)," 29) Arizona, "Ditat Deus (God enriches)," 28) Ohio, "With God, all things are possible" 

I have nothing against pledges of fealty to God. That's cool with me. But it's only a perfectly fine state motto. Colorado's is kind of a weird indictment of God, that he would enable the many strange/weird things about that state: pot dispensaries, ski bros and the Denver Broncos come to mind. Connecticut's is a bit obtuse of a God reference. The other two are perfectly cromulent but not particularly memorable state mottos. Ohio's is Philippians 4:13, and you can't go wrong with Bible verses.

27) Missouri, "Salus populi suprema lex esto (Let the welfare of the people be the supreme law)," 26) South Dakota, "Under God, the people rule," 25) Arkansas, "The people rule"

These are pretty similar, but Missouri loses points for being wordy. South Dakota's gets to the point faster and explains the legal hierarchy: God, then people. Arkansas has the punchiest and easiest to teach a grade schooler, which matters.

24) North Carolina, "Esse quam videri (To be, rather than to seem)"

This sounds like part of a Hamlet monologue. It's super esoteric and tries too hard, though. Short revealing story about myself: Once, when I was in middle school, I thought I could impress a girl I liked by acting pensive and trying to share with her some super-deep thoughts about snow. It was dumb, it failed, and it's the source of laughter to this day for everyone. North Carolina's state motto is the "deep thoughts about snow" of state mottos.

23) South Carolina, "Dum spiro spero Animis opibusque parati (While I breathe, I hope Ready in soul and resource)"

It's way too long,

22) Washington, "Al-ki (By and By)"

It's in Chinook! That's cool, right? Once you get past the four letters and rare language of it all, this is kind of lame. It seems unusual and cool and different at first, but is actually just boring, like [insert BBC sitcom that failed in America here].

21) Wisconsin, "Forward"

I give Wisconsin a pass on the one-word concept, because this is both a preposition, a command and a direction. It's simple, as the best state mottos are, but it's a little too simple.

20) Oklahoma, "Labor omnia vincit (Labor conquers all things)"

I grew up with Oklahoma's. It's easy enough to remember and explains the state work ethic. The only problem is it can sound kind of nose-to-the-grindstone/toil is your friend/"Some day you'll get that boulder to the top of the hill, Sisyphus" atmosphere. Not quite as good as its cousin from Kansas, which is further down.

19) Idaho, "Esto perpetua (Let it be perpetual)"

My friends from Idaho tell me how beautiful it is, and now I want to visit. The idea of it lasting forever sounds nice, like a garden of Eden pre-Fall. There's a hidden message of "It's already great, so keep it this way" that is both instructive and environmental-sounding. It's lovely.

18) North Dakota, "Liberty and union, now and forever, one and inseparable"

This sounds more like an oath of office or pledge of allegiance than a state motto. It's longer than it should be and it's sort of repetitive with union/one/inseparable. But I'll be danged if it doesn't have good flow, sound like something a grade schooler can remember, and embrace multiple dichotomies. I like it even though I know I kind of shouldn't.

17) Kentucky, "United we stand, divided we fall"

It's an old platitude, but a good one. This doesn't make me think of Kentucky or say much about the state. We're starting to get into the better state mottos.

16) Hawaii, "Ua mau ke ea o ka aina i ka pono (The life of the land is perpetuated in righteousness)"

That is wordy as hell, but it embraces its native language, which is great. It sounds like something any dad might tell his children, in that "I'm being poignant here, but taking too many words to say it" sort of way. The response is: "Yeah, Dad, I get it. If I'm good, the land will last forever. My morality is clapping and the land is Tinkerbell."

15) Iowa, "Our liberties we prize and our rights we will maintain," 14) Virginia, "Sic semper tyrannis (Thus always to tyrants)," 13) Massachusetts, "Ense petit placidam sub libertate quietem (By the sword we seek peace, but peace only under liberty)," 12) Alabama, "Audemus jura nostra defendere (We dare defend our rights)," 11) Mississippi, "Virtute et armis (By valor and arms)"

I call these the "We will fight you" mottos. It's no surprise that three of them are Southern states. Iowa's is the lamest of the bunch, because it's just an implied threat. Virginia's is too far in the opposite direction and loses points for being something John Wilkes Booth shouted after killing Lincoln, though it is still badass enough to be this high. Massachusetts is wordy and too stuffy, but perfectly Massachusetts in that way. Alabama's seems needlessly provocative, but still has that cutthroat mentality. I love the simplicity of Mississippi's.

10) California, "Eureka (I have found it)"

It's got the gold mining history incorporated, it's simple and punchy, it's a nod to Archimedes. It's also a little full of itself, which is perfect for California.

9) New York, "Excelsior (Ever Upward)" 

It's one-word, but it's aspirational and implies growth over time. It's easy to remember and punchy. It gains points for me because of the Stan Lee connection. The famed Marvel Comics legend would end his columns with this word in the idea that other writers wouldn't copy. It is perfectly Stan Lee in that it's kind of hokey and outdated, but delightfully so. It's the Adam West Batman of state mottos.

8) New Mexico, "Crescit eundo (It grows as it goes)"

Sweet, simple and doesn't have the Stan Lee baggage. Points docked for Latin instead of Spanish.

7) Oregon, "Alis volat propriis (She flies with her own wings)" 

Oregon is a feminist state, or at least a feminine pronoun state. Even though there's a bit of a Li'l Brudder aspect to it, the wings imagery is beautiful and poignant. But if you didn't know this was Oregon, you still wouldn't know.

6) Kansas, "Ad astra per aspera (To the stars through difficulties)"

I was kind of surprised how high this one rose, but it's got all the earmarks of a great state motto with only one drawback. It kind of rhymes in Latin, it's super easy to remember, it's aspirational while accepting of reality, and it's the name of a beer. The stars are a greater goal than merely flying, so it's better than Oregon. The only drawback is that it doesn't scream Kansas. It's one of the best mottos, but it just can't break through to the upper echelon. It is the Kansas City Chiefs of state mottos.

5) Maine, "Dirigo (I lead)"

The punchiest, best one-word motto in the country. It's a declaration and direction. It's aspirational and easy to remember. It's simple but not simplistic. This is the best motto that doesn't make you think of its state at all. Be honest: If you read the motto first, did Maine come to mind? Probably not, which is a shame. Any motto ranked higher than this gives off an "F yeah!" attitude, and this one is

4) Nevada, "All for our Country and Battle Born"

Points docked for having two mottos. However, each of these mottos is excellent. The first is so patriotic it hurts. The second gives a vibe of "we can handle anything." It's also the name of a Killers album. Honestly, they should drop the first motto and just be "Battle Born," since it sounds so incredible and like they can handle anything. It makes me think of Nevada, though again, that may just be the Killers album doing work for the state. It'd look great on a license plate.

3) Alaska, "North to the future"

Geography tie-in! But more importantly, there's maybe only one other state this could possibly be (Minnesota, maybe?). It's just a motto that immediately conjures Alaska. It's aspirational and a good motto. Quick thought: Is traveling north always a good idea, especially in the winter?

2) West Virginia, "Montani semper liberi (Mountaineers are always free)"

Hell yeah! This is the best "who we are" motto in the country. It screams place (mountains), people (mountaineers), identity (always free), and aspiration (implied). You don't want to mess with these guys, because they are one with the land.

1) New Hampshire, "Live Free or Die"

There's something to be said for keeping it simple. In 13 letters, it's an ethos, an identity, a dare to others, a charge, edgy, a line in the sand and morbidly awesome. You can imagine New Hampshire militia members yelling this as they charge up a hill. It'd make a great tattoo if you're from there. It's also immediately recognizable as New Hampshire, because of all those factors. Hell, it's practically a Die Hard movie. It's definitely not as mild and fluffy and star-eyed as the others. It's put-up-or-shut-up in New Hampshire. It's also got a great historic lineage. A classic for a reason.

Summary Judgments

Here's a short summary of the Inspector General FBI report: Clinton's emails were not criminal in any way, Comey was wrong to make not one but two public statements that likely damaged her status in the election, and the FBI had a few people that didn't like Trump. None of those actions were done for political reasons. It reminds me of an offshoot of Occam's Razor called Hanlon's Razor: Never assign to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.  •  •  •  Paul Manafort is now in jail for witness tampering. Surely he wouldn't do that if he were innocent, right?  •  •  •  This is a salient point that I should probably elaborate on next time, since this is News Judgments and all. In short: journalists are treating the President's quotes as gospel and quoting him as if he were an authority, even when what he is saying is contrary to the nuance and depth of a story. It misleads the public when a headline like "Trump: watchdog report a 'total disaster' for Comey" runs instead of "Watchdog report: Comey erred, but not biased in Clinton probe." The latter is a much better reflection of the report and doesn't grant supreme authority to the President. The former assumes that President Trump actually read a 500-page report. I encourage any Trump supporter to look me in the eye and say that he read the whole report.  •  •  •  I ran a Warrior Dash last week. It wore me out so much that I had trouble sleeping for two days. It was through a farm field, so it was dusty. It was a record high in Kansas City that day, with heat indices over 100. The mud dragged your body down and the water obstacles only did so much to remove the mud. It was brutal and exhausting and physically demanding. I loved it and want to do it again next year.  •  •  •  We have been telling the kids that if they want to stay up after we tuck them in and read/play quietly, they can do so. Evie has been exploiting this loophole even though she knows we want her to be in bed. Last night, it was 10:45 and I knew she was still awake. I walked by her room to a point I could see her but she didn't know I was there. She got up and was playing with her dresser when she looked up, saw me looking at her, had a moment of recognition like a deer in the headlights, then darted into bed and pretended she was sleeping. She fell asleep for real 10 minutes later.