As far as I know, I remain the only person to do an actual analysis/prediction of the Name of the Year bracket. It is dumb. It is silly. It is my personal joy. Everyone has their own thing that they think "I'm going to do this even if no one else likes it." This is my Hill to Die On.
Luckily, this is a good year to die on this particular hill. There is a quality of depth that is far above two years ago (a top-heavy year) and a little better than last year's. Last year's winner, it turned out, was Jimbob Ghostkeeper, an excellent choice. The High Committee chose Salami Blessing, an equally worthy choice from the same regional.
As a reminder, names that tend to do better in the bracket are names that a) have funny first AND last names, b) have good name synergy, like Syncere Friends this year and c) have some added bonus, like Dr./Rev. or Jr./III/IV or diacriticals. The High Committee has returned to its traditional convention of naming the regionals after Hall of Name entrants: Assumption Bulltron, Crescent Dragonwagon, Godfrey Sithole and Doby Chrotchtangle.
Bulltron Regional
The Bulltron had both winners from last year. This year, it's the weakest regional. 1-seed Dr. Trentington Outhouse should waltz into the Sweet 16, past Dijonnaise Norman in the second round, too. Apollokreed Gardner, Manchester United MacGyver and 2-seed Pretzel Monteclaro should also have no problem in the first round. I've got Vinay Pimplé coming out of the first round. The toughest match-ups in this round are Tushna Commissariat-Syncere Friends and Truman Peyote-Storm Duck. I've got the underdogs (underducks?) pulling off the upsets, with Storm Duck winning to make the Sweet 16. Pretzel Monteclaro has a clear path to the Sweet 16 and I think Manchester United MacGyver makes it, too. I believe Manchester United MacGyver can cook Pretzel and make the Elite Eight. Dr. Trentington Outhouse is the better name, but I can see the voters getting behind the simple but brilliant Storm Duck. When in doubt, go with added bonus: Outhouse moves on not only to the Elite Eight, but also into the Final Four.
Sithole Regional
This regional has three great names and a bunch of forgettable ones. 1-seed Surender Nada faces a feisty 16 in Johnny Anomaly, but should still coast, even past 8-9 winner Dr. Trent Artichoker. Sharky Laguana and Deicide Huxtable should also skate past the first round. I've also got Konstantine Sepsis moving on. The three great names should also win their first round match-ups: Precious Orji, Pope Thrower and Alpha Omega Nickelberry III. Alpha Omega Nickelberry III should also make the Sweet 16 and in an upset, I think Sharky Laguana beats Deicide Huxtable. The winner of Pope Thrower-Precious Orji should go to the Final Four. They both have name synergy. Precious Orji is my winner, beating Sharky Laguana to make the regional finals and Surender Nada (who beat Alpha Omega Nickelberry III) in the finals.
Dragonwagon Regional
The cream of the crop this year is the Dragonwagon. 1-seed Jizyah Shorts is properly rated, and will make short work of the first two rounds, beating Cory Phast Lane in the second round. Tupac Isme has great name synergy and is punchier than the well-named Charleszetta Waddles, so he should advance. General Booty may be a 13-seed, but the upset will happen. There truly are no bad names in this regional, but expect Cletorious Aretha Fry and Corno Pronk to make the second round. Normally I'd like C'Bo Flemister in an upset against Pixie Fuhrmeister, but I think he falls because he doesn't go by his given name: C'Borius. My biggest first-round upset is Bubba Buckaloo over Happy Kampire. If Jimbob Ghostkeeper taught us nothing, it's that Southern-sounding names are funny. An alliterative funny Southern name that sounds like a drunk cowboy? Perfect. Cletorious Aretha Fry should sail into the Sweet 16. Tupac Isme-General Booty is a fantastic match and neither should be a loser. But thanks to tales of Tupac still being alive, I give Tupac Isme the edge despite my heart wanting to go the other way. Corno Pronk-Bubba Buckaloo is a delightful morsel, too, and I've got the Buckaloo moving on, even making the regional finals after beating Cletorious Aretha Fry. As much as I love Tupac Isme, Jizyah Shorts is not being beaten. Not in the Sweet 16 and not even in the regional finals against Bubba Buckaloo.
Chrotchtangle Regional
A real contender for best regional, led by 3-seed Rev. Pix Butt. 1-seed Ecclesiastical Denzel Washington will make it out of the first round, but no farther — expect an upset by Chastity Gooch-Fant in the second round. Steele Fortress should win the first round, only to fall to Rev. Butt in the next round. I've got Geor'quarius Spivey moving on in the first round to face Tellsport Putsavage. I've got Paisley Boney IV barely (bearly?) holding off Bear Spiker in the first round and Dermot Smurfit in a first-round upset. Paisley Boney IV should hold off Dermot Smurfit to reach the Sweet 16 against Chastity Gooch-Fant. I don't think the winner of Putsavage-Spivey matters (Putsavage, I think), because Rev. Pix Butt will move on to the regional finals. I've read enough from the comments to know there's a zeitgeist behind Chastity Gooch-Fant moving her on. But Rev. Pix Butt is the obvious winner here.
Final Four
Two 1-seeds and two 3-seeds. Not bad. Precious Orji has name synergy that should take down Dr. Trentington Outhouse, despite his earned degree. Rev. Pix Butt v. Jizyah Shorts is the type of fun match-up I live for. But this is the year of the name synergy, and Jizyah Shorts is a name that cannot be beat. Jizyah Shorts-Precious Orji is the finals. Sometimes, the best name is the most obvious. 1-seed Jizyah Shorts is your winner.
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