Lately you might have heard about all these
What's Happening
You know how you like women? (YEAH!) And you think they look fly/hot/cool/whatever the kids say these days? (HELL YEAH!) and you always thought about saying or doing something, but never did because you are either lack the self confidence or have a pesky sense of shame? Well, some men both have the self confidence AND lack a sense of shame. And by "saying or doing something," I mean physically grabbing women or masturbating in front of them or forcibly kissing them or dating underage women or using taxpayer funds to pay for your sexual assault settlements or coerced them into compromising positions in hotel rooms or .... [LIST CONTINUES INDEFINITELY]. And don't think that I'm leaving you out, LGBTQ community. Just because you're not a heteronormative person doesn't mean you're immune from this discussion. Women, too, can be potential harassers, but the vast, vast, vast, vast, vast majority are men.
Who's At Risk
Women in the entertainment industry, music industry, politics, business and more are coming forward saying that they've experienced this sort of assault or harassment. There's the #MeToo movement telling women that they're not alone and that others have experienced similar stories. If you're into doing terrible things to women, maybe you should be out of a job.
Those accused are often losing their jobs, their seats in Congress or GASP! their donors/advertisers. But perhaps most significantly, they're losing their power. And let's face it: Power is the underlying factor (besides the Y chromosome) here. This wouldn't be happening if men everywhere viewed women as equals. That's hard, I know. It's way, way easier to view women as *takes deep breath* maids, China dolls, damsels in distress, assistants, moms (forms include: welfare, soccer, Grizzly, hockey), queens (both real and drama), children, bitches, Pollyannas, Mary Sues, women in refrigerators, babysitters, secretaries, playthings, mistresses, underlings, weaklings, servants, Mrs. Pac-Man, Wendy Koopa, "sexy" professionals (forms include: nurse, teacher, secretary, maid, farmer, mechanic, masseuse, carny?), whores, prostitutes, ladies of the night, ring girls, the Girl from The Ring, pixies, Madonnas, virgins, rewards/prizes and property. *inhales sharply*
It's easy to view women that way because a lot of that is written into our pop culture. You see it in video games, movies, music, TV shows, pamphlets, books, tomes, takeout menus, and legislation. Great, so I'm off the hook! It's society's fault! NOPE. Pop culture doesn't make you do those things. It might enable those things, but it doesn't excuse it. At the end of the day, society may let you get away with something, but it doesn't make you do it. Society and pop culture can lead you (you're a horse in this analogy, keep up) to water, but it can't make you drink (though women aren't water, so this analogy doesn't work right, but you get the point).
How To Avoid It
How do I avoid sexual harassment? Women are complex creatures, and I just don't know what they want! How can I tell if what I'm doing will make me lose my power/position/job/importance? How do I know if I should sexually harass or assault or not? It's so confusing. You might ask those questions to yourself if you are a man. If you're asking yourself those questions, you probably already need to hear the answer. So here's my two-step answer to avoid sexual harassment and sexual assault. It's proven by hundreds, thousands, millions, perhaps billions of men the world over.
Step One: Don't.
Just don't. You know that thing you're already thinking about? Don't. I can tell you about all the times I haven't sexually harassed or assaulted someone. There was yesterday. There was last week. Heck, there was even the time I was an editor and had women working for me, and I somehow managed not to sexually harass them. Women will tell you if they want to make a situation sexual. Don't make that decision for them. Or don't put them in a position where they might feel compelled or coerced into making a decision they wouldn't normally make. Maybe those last two sentences are confusing, so let me boil it down for you: Don't. Just don't.
Step Two:
Did you read that first step? Maybe you should read it again.
But what if I really want to tell a woman how big my genitalia is? First of all, sure. Sure it is. Go back to Step One. But what if I think she would like it? Did she tell you that or are you presuming? Go back to Step One. But what if she's asking for it? That's not a thing. Go back to Step One. But what if...? Stop. Stop it. You can keep coming up with what ifs, but it's tactically and strategically and morally and logically smarter to just Go back to Step One.
That's it. Simple. Easy. Tell your friends.
Lessons from the Alabama Senate race
1) The GOP is going to have to fight to keep both chambers of Congress. Democrats are fired up and ready to vote. Every election — even those the GOP has won — has shown a heavy swing toward Democrats. The House was already in play for 2018, because all the Democrats need is about two dozen seats to win control of that chamber. The Senate was less likely. The GOP had a 52-48 advantage, and the 2018 Senate map was tilted heavily toward the Republicans, in that nearly all the seats up were Democratic seats. Even if the Dems flipped the two most likely candidates (Nevada and Arizona), they still would have had to hold on to all their seats AND flip somewhere far more GOP-friendly, like beating Ted Cruz in Texas. But with Alabama already flipped and a 51-49 margin, the Dems now face the easier task of holding on to all their seats (not easy, but doable) and flipping Nevada and Arizona (polls show the Democrat ahead right now, but it's way early). So rather than coast through 2018 without spending as heavily, the GOP will have to invest if it wants to keep either or both chambers of Congress.
2) Mitch McConnell is in a battle with Steve Bannon. This was etched in pencil and is now written in pen. Of all people, Donald Trump is in between the two. Bannon wants to target "establishment" candidates, namely those supported by people like McConnell. McConnell thinks the Bannon acolytes are too extremist, and can't win in a general election. Trump endorsed Luther Strange (establishment) in the Alabama GOP primary, even though he's far more similar to Roy Moore. Then after Moore won the primary, he endorsed Roy Moore (Bannon). Now that Moore lost, Trump is claiming that Moore was too extremist to win and he knew it all along (sure you did, Mr. President). Bannon and McConnell seem to be diametrically opposed and causing a fissure in the party. Meanwhile, the Democrats are eager to pick up the pieces.
3) The tax bill has to pass soon or it'll never pass at all. This is more of a practical issue for McConnell and the GOP. There was one defection in the Senate for the GOP tax bill: Tennessee Sen. Bob Corker. The bill passed 51-49. Doug Jones likely won't take office until later this month, which is a deadline for the GOP. If they can't ram the tax bill through conference committee in a matter of weeks, then the bill is living on a knife's edge at a 50-50 vote. But there's an assumption there that the conference committee can smooth out the details to make everyone happy in both the House and the Senate. But this gives senators on the edge (Jeff Flake? Susan Collins? John McCain?) a lot more power to stand strong on their issues, which may create problems in the House (Flake/Collins/McCain's desires don't line up with the Freedom Caucus at all). UPDATE SINCE I WROTE THIS: The GOP is rushing. Marco Rubio made a demand, and since they had to have his vote, the bill writers capitulated. They want this bill to pass, they don't want Doug Jones to vote on it, and they want to vote before America has more time to think about how much they don't like the bill. Sounds great, right? I'm sure it'll pass at this point, because the GOP is kind of all-or-nothing on it and need to pretend like they did something popular, even if that's not true.
4) Donald Trump is a drag on his party's candidates. It's easily forgotten based on the results of the 2016 election, but neither Trump nor Hillary Clinton were popular. Someone had to win the race anyway. But following that election, one is off the political table. Which leaves only one unpopular politician left. There's no singular Democratic bogeyman out there.
5) African Americans decided this election. White men voted overwhelmingly for Roy Moore (72 percent). White women voted for Roy Moore, but with less of a margin than white men (63 percent). The Alabama election was largely driven by turnout and the black vote. African Americans voted for Doug Jones. There's no wiggle room in that sentence — 96 percent of black voters picked Doug Jones. They also came to the polls, increasing turnout from 20 percent of the electorate to nearly 30 percent. African Americans are a powerful bloc when they choose to vote.
Summary Judgments
Roland put on some reindeer antlers the other day. "I'm a rhinoceros!" he said. So close.
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